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A PhD at 45 I am a college English professor. I teach undergraduate students the basics of writing for college, the importance of literature for understanding the human condition, the history of the English language, and cool stuff about the literature of the Middle Ages and Shakespeare. I am also a faculty advisor for English majors and minors. I often tell my students the story of how I got here, to this university, teaching them these skills and this content in this moment. It begins with an undergraduate art major who was too shy to ask a faculty member to sponsor her art show, thus earning a BS instead of a BA in art. That’s right, I earned a BS degree. In art. Studio art. I then tick off the list of my various “lives” for my students, giving them the short version to limit the number of glazed-over eyes I witness. It’s “syllabus day,” after all—that day when profs do more talking at students than they might do normally—so I keep the list to the post-baccalaureate highlights. I’ll give you the long version because I think you can take it: envelop stuffer (college work study); food service in the dorm cafeteria (I was really good at peeling hard boiled eggs and making grilled cheese); “librarian” in our dorm mini library; anti-vandalism monitor in the dorm elevators (midnight to 4 a.m. once a month—got a lot of free fries while I hung out in an elevator!); freelance artist for the Illinois State Police and a company called Prescription Learning; au pair for a family in Boston (1 year); art supply sales associate (1 year); department store clerk (1 week!); pizza place hostess (1 week!); floral designer (11 years, off and on); elementary education BA student and licensed teacher (while working at the flower shop); substitute teacher (1 year while also working part time at the flower shop); Appalachian Trail thru-hiker (4 months, between stints at the flower shop); preschool teacher (4 years); MA student in English (part time, while teaching preschool); PhD student in medieval literature and culture and graduate teaching assistant (GTA), research assistant, and GTA mentor (6 years); English professor, specializing in medieval studies (15 years, so far); AI trainer (! 1 year); Compassion Ambassador (2 years); Certified Life Coach (1 year); Certified Death Doula (9 months); Certified level 2 Reiki practitioner (9 months); Certified Tai Chi Instructor (1 year); and Creative Grief Supporter in training (currently completing). I am also an artist, a writer, a gardener, a volunteer with the English Department’s Jail Literacy Program, and a wildlife rehabilitation volunteer with the local Human Society. Oh. And I have volunteered at a local food pantry and in in hospice care with a local hospital and clinic. And now . . . a Substack? Whew! This is what I mean by the “wiggly path.” A dear friend calls me a “willow-the-wisp.” (She also calls me “Snow White.”) My therapist says “curious.” I prefer “explorative.” It’s Okay to Wander I regularly tell my students it’s okay to wander. Society and parents press high school students to have their lives figured out by the time they graduate from their K-12 programs, or at least by the time they enter college, if that’s their path. As children, most of us have been asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Me? I wanted to be an artist. And a teacher. And a librarian. And a writer. And an archaeologist. And a musician. And an actor. I also wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder, Tom Sawyer, Nancy Drew, and Freddie Mercury. None of these were viable options. But then, I didn’t think I could be a university professor, either. During my year in Boston as an au pair, I drove one of my charges to Harvard Yard Preschool on weekdays. That is, I drove my 4-year-old charge . . . to Harvard. I spent a great deal of time wandering around Harvard Square, seeing the—largely—white, male profs with their tweed jackets with suede elbow patches (this was 1988-89, y’all) and thinking, “Maybe someday I’ll marry a college professor.” At that time, it never occurred to me to think, “Maybe someday I’ll BE a college professor!” It was enough to know that the family who hired me to care for their two children thought I was smart and hired me because I knew that “a lot” (as in, “I think a lot”) was two words rather than one. Then, along came Razak Dahmane, my MA thesis director, who said to me one day, “You need to go on for your PhD.” Wow. My family had always been supportive of me, but never in my life had anyone expressed to me the idea “you’re that smart.” Heck. I missed out on Talented and Gifted (now AP) programming because I struggled with math, and when I was in school, you had to have the whole package, not just smarts in one or two areas, to be in the TAG program. I was never a contender for Valedictorian or Salutatorian of my class. I was, for the most part, solidly “slightly above average.” What business did I have being a doctoral student? Well, plenty, it turns out. Entering my PhD program at 39 years of age, I had matured enough to appreciate the education I was getting and to apply myself to the work. My life experiences had given me perspective and clarity about what I needed to do to achieve, and I got through my PhD program with a perfect 5.0 GPA, earning the highest possible grade in every class I took. I wouldn’t have been able to do that straight out of my undergraduate program, where I was a solid B/C student. It helped that grad school allowed me to intensively focus on subjects about which I cared a great deal. No astronomy. No college algebra. Just reading, writing, and theory. I understand that economics often dictates that high school and college students, perhaps now more than ever, be ready to commit to a steady job or career right away, but I want my students—and perhaps you—to know that it’s okay to keep experimenting and exploring. The more we limit ourselves to one outcome, to one skill set—the straight path—the less flexible we are. By “flexible,” I don’t just mean occupationally, but also in mindset. The more fixed we become, the less willing we are to understand other walks in life and points of view that differ from our own. Still, my mind isn’t always as flexible as I’d like for it to be. Yet, the willow-the-wisp in me remains curious, explorative. I wish to experience life with the senses of wonder and humor. With this Substack, I will write about the various walks I have taken, whether literal or figurative, to get where I am now, as well as various topics that currently tickle my curiosity. I may not always have wisdom to impart, but I hope I can, at least, extend the tickle to you and open up space for questions and meaning-making. This is the “wiggly path.” Welcome! Are You a Wanderer? It’s okay if you are. Whether you’re a high school student, a college student, a working adult, or a retired one, my goal is to bring you stories of my experiences and on a variety of subjects that have captured my attention over time and do, currently, pique my curiosity. As a result of this exploration, the focus may seem stream-of-conscious and associative, at best, and thoroughly random most of the time. In other words, this Substack may jump around from topic to topic from one bi-weekly post to the next and then circle back to previous thoughts. Some topics may capture your attention and some may not, but I hope to, at least, provoke some well-intentioned thought and draw you into the conversation. Will you wiggle along with me? Subscriptions I have four subscription levels available, each with different price points and offerings. See below for what each plan offers. Free Subscription: * Bi-weekly posts, available here and on Substack . Monthly Paid Subscription: * Bi-weekly posts, available here and on Substack . * Resources and links for further information on the posted topics. * An extra, short post on the same topic in the “off” weeks. Yearly Paid Subscription: * Bi-weekly posts, available here. and on Substack . * Resources and links for further information on the posted topics. * An extra, short post on the same topic in the “off” weeks. * A 17% discount over the monthly paid subscription price. Founding Member Subscription: * Bi-weekly posts, available here and on Substack. * Resources and links for further information on the posted topics. * An extra, short post on the same topic in the “off” weeks. * A Wiggly Path coffee mug or t-shirt.

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